This is a 10-tweet relay story that @FloorKist_SciFi and I wrote.

Enjoy!

Schrödinger’s Pet Theory

Dog lovers all over the world complain about the use of a cat by Erwin Schrödinger in his famous experiment.

“Cats are getting way too uppity,” according to dog owner John Bull, “they don’t the extra attention—even if one of them is ah… deceased. Dog’s are a man’s best friend.”

The Schrödinger’s Dog Movement follows in a long standing debate about dogs and cats: which one has been with living with humans the longest?

“Whiny cat owners constantly suggest that in ancient Egypt, cats were held in high regard—even associated with gods,” Bull says disgusted.

“It’s a well known scientific fact that cats live longer than dogs,” says Felicia Silvester, chairperson for the League for the Preservation of Schrödinger’s Cat Paradox (LPSC). “The symbolism is evident! The cat’s death has more impact because it happens early in her life.”

Leo Tigris, founder of Conservation of Cat Facts disagrees. “To begin with, the cat was a black male called ‘Salem’. The symbolism isn’t in the early death, but in the name: the town in Massachusetts known for its witch trials. Schrödinger was taking a stand against colonialism. Just like burning witches, killing cats is bad!” Mr. Tigris thumps his fist on the table for emphasis.

Mr. Bull laughs out loud at these assertions. “Typical! Some people always introduce a ‘colonialism-is-bad’ angle into any debate. What matters is that dogs come from wolves.”

“They are fierce animals man has domesticated. Schrödinger’s robbing us of our righteous place at the top of the pyramid by working with a cat.” Mr. Bull shrugs. “Besides, everyone knows it’s impossible to grab a cat and try to put it in a box. They wriggle out of your hands.”

“That shows how much a dog-owner knows about cats!” Ms. Silvester rolls her eyes. “Schrödinger only had to drop the box anywhere and the cat would gladly and willingly sit it in all by itself. That proves the experiment could only have succeeded by using a cat and not a dog.”

Mr. Tigris concurs. “Besides, they didn’t have cardboard boxes big enough for dogs, anyway.”

Ms. Silvester corrects him because the box was made of wood and not cardboard. “They didn’t have that in the early twentieth century.”

“Well, that proves my point exactly!” says Mr. Bull.

“Why build a big wooden box if you only want to put a tiny kitty in there? It’s also well-known that dogs are fiercely loyal. Only a dog would step into a box knowing it might die there.”

“Wrong!” Mr. Tigris lifts his arm in despair. “Cats go into boxes when they feel sick.”

“So, the experiment was on a sick cat? What kind of unethical scientist was Schrödinger anyway?” Mr. Bull crosses his arms.

Ms. Silvester wonders. “Cats believe that they own their humans. That would mean that if there was anything was in that box, it would be Schrödinger.”

Thanks for reading!